Tomaž Kvas, the author of the article about reasons for indecisiveness, presents some tips for easier decision making.
“Taking things in our own hands
Let’s see some tips on how to overcome indecisiveness. When we hesitate, there is a fear and a sense of weakness between us and our goals. Even though the state of indecisiveness is not a pleasant one, is easier than accept the responsibility for the final decision if it turns out to be bad. In indecisiveness, we can maintain the illusion of certainty. In this case, we have to ask ourselves, what is the cost of passiveness, and if it is higher than the price of a bad decision. A bad decision is often better than no decision.”
As I wrote it is good that we don’t absolutize indecisiveness as something stubborn and permanent. It is not true that we have always a “fear and sense of weakness” before important decisions. We can be in the pre-decision time still gathering and checking information, creating a shortlist of best candidates, comparing and evaluating the candidates, and preparing for the final decision.
As we all know, there is a very rare situation that we have to decide here and now to marry or divorce. Usually, we have more time for such decisions. We also know that good decisions won’t always take us to the best results. In any case,” Bad decision is NOT better than no decision.” A bad decision is a bad decision, and will presumably cause bad consequences. We mustn’t fall for apparent or concrete pressures, especially of other selfish persons who can try to use and abuse our lack of information, and our decisiveness, to quickly make us or indirectly or directly force us to say YES what we would never say after a second thought. If we see that we need more time to decide, we simply take it and thoroughly think things through before deciding. Taking time for preparing, we also set the last date for the decision. If our decision is important for others, we have to tell them the date and inform them of how we decided about the matter.
“We have a strong need for certainty and reliability. That causes unreasonable expectations that every decision we make will be the good one, which is simply impossible. This tendency towards perfection causes indecisiveness and changes in the already made decisions, not to mention worrying and constant overthinking. In doing so, we often rely on two common but erroneous assumptions; the first is that we need to know exactly what we want before we make a decision, and the second is that there is only one right solution and that that one must show up as such as soon as we accept it. As life experience shows, these two statements are not always valid. Today, we do not always know what will be best for us in the long run, and more and different solutions can always lead us to the same goal, so sometimes it is better to insist on not the best decision than not to make a decision. In life, we regret much more if we didn’t do something than if we did it badly. Don’t be afraid of mistakes, we all make them, and follow this saying: if I don’t make the right decision, I can correct it later and make sure it’s the right one. “
For the unawakened, who are fused with mind and body and depend on objects, “certainty and reliability” means they have a home, a job, and money. They see life as a constant concern for providing outdoor facilities that will bring them satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment. Capitalism further idealizes and demands success and despises failure. Thus, he openly promotes greed as a driver of progress, celebrates winners, and makes fun of losers. The unawakened ones dramatically dramatize and problematize life, themselves and others, and are therefore also very sensitive to right and wrong decisions. They want everything to be ideal being afraid to make any mistakes. This is especially true for the Important ones, who are obsessed with the status of being the best, while the Poor ones are contrary afraid of doing something right which will lead them to the accidental and unwanted success causing them to lose their precious victim status:)
Awakened ones, we do not depend on objects, so for us, good life and successful operation mean something completely different than for the unawakened. In the first place, we are very pleased to be Aware Beings of Pure Awareness. There is no drama, problem, or error in Pure Awareness. We have no fear and never worry about anything and anyone. We always decide for our good and the benefit of all. If our decisions do not bring the desired results, we are completely calm, because we always know that we made the right decision. Whatever the reasons for our failure, we know that this choice was not possible at this time and space, as it was not present in Existence. If we later see that a different decision would be more beneficial, we are just as calm, knowing that we made the previous decision based on the desires, needs, information, and opportunities we had at the time.
And, by no means make a bad decision with the idea that “I can fix it later and make sure it’s the right one”. A good or bad example is women who marry an alcoholic, an addict, or a bully. If which is extremely rare, in most cases these pests change a woman:), they manage to turn a man into a domestic doll, then they complain that his not usable:)
The author of the article continues with the “decision before the decision” with a suggestion that is useful to decide whether we will decide on something or not.
“It is crucial that we do not burden ourselves with weighing irrelevant decisions that do not affect important life goals, just because we are faced with multiple paths. Nor should our decisions be influenced by the desire to make a good impression on others or to serve them. Even for more important decisions with multiple solutions, we need to assess when to stop weighing. At a certain point, the benefits of additional data gathering fall sharply, more important than the decision is the speed with which we make it. The main thing is to start acting immediately based on the decision, to carefully study how it works, adjust the decision if necessary, and move on.”
In doing so, we will benefit greatly from the shortlist of candidates, if there are more, and the decision which we set ourselves if that is possible.
Afterward, the author first suggests a “mental step away from one’s position, thus preventing emotions from clouding our judgment,” and in the second paragraph he “mentally moves away” from his advice and recommends that you “trust your intuition and save yourself a lot of mental exercises. If you have a bad or good feeling about something, listen to it, analyze it, and decide whether to take it into account. “:):)
He first suggests to decide strictly mentally, and in the next sentence, he suggests to “trust your intuition” or emotions.
The unawakened feel uncomfortable most of the time, so they can’t rely too much on their feelings when making decisions, because they can carry them far away into the life drama. To be able to make decisions based on your feelings, you should have a completely pure energy body. As long as this body is dirty, torn, and damaged, they cannot use it effectively.
With awakening and releasing all harmful traits and behaviors, we completely clear our energy body. Regardless of our new and pure energy body, we won’t be able to decide upon our feelings because as awakened ones, we constantly feel fantastically good:)
In any case, the awakened and the unawakened ones can rely on emotional memory and remember the inconvenience caused by certain decisions. At the same time, we can also see and hear suspicious persons, who address us and perhaps even force us into strange deals. Of course, their suspicious behavior can be useful and helpful so we can easier decide that we won’t have anything to do with them. Some of them, such as psychopathic sadists, have also learned to lie by speaking and behaving, so they kindly smile to us with one hand, while with the other hand behind our backs they are already taking advantage of us.
In the end, Tomaž adds two decision-making aids.
“Let’s ask ourselves, how someone else would act in our situation or how we would advise a friend if he found himself in a similar situation.”
That can help, but it is important to know who this “someone else” is:) With the possibility that you would do the same as you would advise a friend. Unawakened, and envious of a friend, could deliberately give him bad advice or try to distract him from a new and painful success for them.
The author concludes the article with the body language of indecisive people who are expressing their hesitance with physically stepping from foot to foot.
“We also express our indecision with body language. When we hesitate in our minds, we also hesitate with the body, more precisely: we move from one side to the other. Researcher Iris Schneider from Vrije University in the Netherlands showed this with a simple but imaginative experiment. She asked the volunteers to read two different articles on the abolition of the minimum wage. The first presented only arguments for the abolition of this legislative act, and the second, in addition to the reasons for, also stated those against. Those who read the article with both sides of the story were unconsciously moving from one side to the other, while those who read the one-page article were standing still. Moving from one side to the others indicates that we are hesitating. After giving them some time to reflect, participants were asked to decide whether to support the abolition of the designation or not. Once they decided, they stopped moving from foot to foot.”
By moving left to right, they decided for or against, left foot for, right against:) It is not clear from the research whether they firmly step on the decision foot after the decision:) If they were sitting or lying down during the research, the experiment would fail. Signs of uncertainty can also be seen in the eyes, as the thinking person seems slightly absent as he investigates his choices. As soon as he decides, he is back and present again.
Otherwise, these tell signs are of special interest to poker players:)
To be continued.
All the best to all.
Seno
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